We would be terribly remiss if we didn’t at least make a stab at wishing everyone a happy Halloween, so we called on some friends from BlueBlood’s night gallery to help.

Photos: Blue Blood

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Feisty, foul-mouthed hotel heiress and ex-con Paris Hilton reportedly pitched a world-class hissy fit in a Toronto video store last week after she stumbled upon posters promoting her infamous sex tape.

According to employees, Hilton was disguised in a skeleton costume and mask (or maybe that’s just the way the overly svelte socialite looks without makeup these days) when she marched into the store and demanded the posters be removed, shouting, “I’m going to call my lawyer and sue the [expletive] out of this place!” She also reportedly threatened “to call the [expletive] cops.”

The entire event was filmed by security cameras, and the store’s owners told Canadian network CTV they are negotiating with American tabloid publishers to sell the evidence. At last report, the bidding had reached $50,000.

Paris, a word of advice, honey: Your tantrums are making an [expletive]-load of people rich.

Image: Red Light District

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Poor Apple: The company seems constantly to bear the brunt of somebody’s criticism. This time the detractor is Greenpeace, which claims despite promises by CEO Steve Jobs, Apple is not doing its part to keep the planet green.

Of particular concern to Greenpeace is a British research laboratory’s discovery that Apple’s iPhone contains members of two hazardous chemical families: brominated fire retardants and phthalates. The compounds are on many countries’ lists of environmentally toxic materials.

According to Greenpeace, Apple competitors Sony Ericsson, Nokia and Motorola all have more eco-friendly policies and products.

It seems a company named after a fuit would be a bit more environmentally conscious, doesn’t it?

Photo: Apple Inc.

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Stefani Morgan is one of the reasons we love Vivid’s Debbie Does Dallas … Again. Ain’t she cute? Nasty and cute — that’s a tough combination to pull off well, but Morgan does it in the title role.

Apparently the EroticLine Awards people agree with us, because the movie won Best U.S. Film last week during the 11th Venus Berlin festival.

Photo: Vivid

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San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom’s office earlier this week rescinded plans to present entertainer and porn fan Snoop Dogg (above) and Perry Mann, founder of the city’s world-famous Exotic Erotic Ball, with proclamations honoring their donations to a local charity. Why? Evidently because hizzoner doesn’t think their public images make them appropriate honorees. Earlier this year Dogg pleaded no contest to felony gun and drug charges, and the Exotic Erotic Ball is, well, all about sex.

Newsom was embarrassed in February when national media reported he proclaimed Feb. 23 Colt Studio Day in honor of the gay porn company’s 40th anniversary. We assume he didn’t want to repeat the “mistake.”

Shame on you, Mayor Newsom. Sexually active adults and rap moguls are benevolent, too.

The Exotic Erotic Expo and Exotic Erotic Ball, featuring performances by Dogg, will go on as planned Oct. 26-27 at the Cow Palace. A portion of the proceeds will be donated to the Healing Circle.

Photos: Anthony Handler, Exotic Erotic Ball

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Our favorite Baywatch girl, Pamela Anderson believes that she will cure the Hepatitis C virus that she contracted from her ex Tommy Lee. The 40-year-old actress recently canceled her multi-million dollar strip club deal in fear that it may harm her reputation. Really.

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Don’t-cha just hate when this happens? Spend all morning getting all dolled up and when it’s all said and done it comes down to the details. Has she completely lost all feeling in the area, or is she just excited to see us?

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“Playboy model gone bad” Sandee Westgate has a new gig: She’s reviewing mainstream DVDs for TunaFlix, the sister site of celebrity blog HollywoodTuna. Her first video-clip review is of Transformers; she’ll post a new review each week.

We have two questions:

1. Considering the obvious (believe me) distractions, will anyone ever be able to tell what she thinks about a movie? Will anyone care?
2. What’s up with the brunette locks? Sandee, honey, trust us: Blonde is you.

Photos: TunaFlix, AVN

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